Forgiven

Love this little old house. It stands now as the Golden Hills Christian Counseling Center. It was here Jesus hit me head on like a truck. In nearly six months, God has used my therapist to cover every base from depression to anger to sexual immorality to anxiety. I can remember about a month in when she believed I had allowed several issues to trigger me which caused me to have emotional outbursts. I thought, “so that’s what’s wrong with me.” It took about six weeks and I realized that though I may or may not have PTSD as well as other personal seated issues that need to be dealt with, the bigger issue I had was failing to keep Jesus close. You can’t diagnose sin as anything else, but sin. You can’t sugar coat your condition. When you keep Jesus close, it doesn’t exempt you from sinning, but you don’t feel so isolated when you do mess up.

Some Christians preach that once you know Christ, if you sin it’s proof you aren’t like the rest of them. Being a Christian is like some sort of competition to see who can play holy the best. And if you sin, you should feel ashamed of yourself and never feel worthy of His love again. I embrace the fact that I’ve messed up. Believe me, I’m ashamed of my mistakes, but it’s in my weakness He is strong and I’ve seen Him work in my life not just through but in me. I’ve seen Him change me. You can’t convince me He isn’t real.

My point in this post is to say this: Don’t listen to the voices that say you aren’t good enough. That voice that has the audacity to say you, “will never change.” You could disappear, attend six months of therapy, receive counsel from several pastors and leaders, continue attending church and guess what? Someone you think matters will say you’ve done nothing. Here’s what matters most: Are you forgiven? No, not by all the people you’ve hurt or offended. But have you gone to Christ with your brokenness and had an honest conversation about His grace? I don’t care how many hours of therapy or how hard you work, nothing and I mean nothing is more rewarding than God’s forgiveness.

For much of my journey, that has felt like the only thing I’ve had, and I’ve embraced it. My therapist has helped me tremendously see this every Tuesday morning and I could not thank her enough. Admitting you need help may feel awkward at first until you realize everyone else around you is messed up too. I am called by Christ to preach His message. I’ve known that since I was 13 years old. I haven’t preached in months, but I’ve had the amazing opportunity to tell a lot of people I work with or run into about the saving grace of God and the peace He has brought me.

I am so thankful God connected me to the Golden Hills Christian Counseling Center and the continued hours of work my therapist has invested in me. And I am forever indebted to God for forgiving me. I am nothing without Him. He can forgive you and give you the ability to move on. If you’re in need of some grace, God has plenty of it. He’s waiting to hear from you. Signing out for now. Talk to you again soon. Thanks for reading.